


Wanton Thoughts of Yearning Hearts: Extended

by SocialDisease609



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Companion Piece, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:02:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SocialDisease609/pseuds/SocialDisease609
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an extension of the brief piece by the same title, which focuses on the emotional and mental insight of Clarke and Lexa, as you watch their feelings and perspectives grow. I intend to make this be a way more mature version of The 100, being more descriptive of all the violence, sex, and emotions. Like an HBO version lol It will be chapter-ed by the episodes which feature Clexa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2x07

**Author's Note:**

> Being how this is the start of Clexa in general, complete romance will obviously not be present, so bear with me. However, I will honor Rothenberg's confirmation of Lexa falling in love at first sight, just making it a bit more realistic because I headcanon that Lexa wasn't quite aware that love is what she was feeling. At least not until 2x08. That's when things pick up, I promise ;)

**Wanton Thoughts of Yearning Hearts I: 2x07**

**Heda Lexa, Commander of the Twelve Clans**

The Commander of the Twelve Clans sat on her throne, keeping her eyes away from the entrance of her tent, ready to make an impression. These Sky People seemed to be an even bigger threat than the Mountain Men, since her Grounder brethren were being slaughtered in the hundreds in a matter of seconds- not to mention they were claiming her land for their own. At least the Mountain Men stayed to their mountainside fortress that receded underground, and rather kidnapped lone Grounders. The loss of her people was troublesome enough, massacre or abduction. Their safety was her top priority. And now with this most recent incident, of a young Sky boy gunning down unarmed villagers- she had to come to her people’s aid and show them her unwavering power, sheltering them with her protective wing like a god of the old world.

            She heard the footsteps hesitantly approach her tent, but kept her eyes diverted. She had been notified that the young Skaikru girl coming to negotiate was not the actual appointed leader of the Skaikru, but one who had taken the responsibility of leadership before their true leader arrived- the one responsible for the inferno massacre at the Sky People’s landing site. Not only was she technically self-appointed, this girl was younger than her! This would definitely not require much energy to intimidate the Sky girl into cowering to Lexa’s will.

            The flap opened and Lexa felt the room rapidly boil with tension. The only reason why this girl hadn’t been killed already was because Lexa’s people knew their place, and would obey until given the order they were ready to follow.

            “You’re the one who burnt three hundred of my warriors alive,” The Commander stated coolly.

            “You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.” The Sky girl was quick with the comment and Lexa felt a chuckle tickle her throat at the boldness. Perhaps the girl forgot that she was here to beg, not to make smart remarks. Lexa looked up from the blade she was twirling in her hand, and lightly stabbed the arm rest of her wooden throne with the tip of the blade as she took in the Skaikru girl’s image. It was a miracle that she remained so composed, because on the inside Lexa felt her heart jump to from her chest into the back of her mouth. No one had told her that the girl was beyond captivating. She had dirty blonde hair frayed by anxiety and ocean blue eyes that weakly conveyed exhaustion and hopelessness. Her clothes were just as unkempt, and her face was healing from multiple bruises and lacerations, which was the ultimate sign of the wounds of an unexperienced fighter. Lexa almost pitied the girl, and wondered if she had actually tried to make herself presentable, but due to nerves, this was the best she could attempt. She wondered where exactly she had earned those wounds, and if the rest of her body was staggering to heal as well.

            “Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the Sky People?” Lexa continued, acting like her composure wasn’t shook by the refreshing woman in front of her.

            “I’ve come to make you an offer,” Clarke responded, who seemed to be struggling with controlling her own composure as well.

            This time Lexa didn’t let the humorous comment slip, “This is not a negotiation,” the Commander lightly scoffed. One of her lieutenants, Indra, seethed in their native tongue for the permission to murder the girl at her feet, but Lexa didn’t desire to silence the girl just yet. It was a shame this Clarke was so naïve, but Lexa would let the girl learn just exactly what she and her fellow Skaikru were going to deal with. As if she would let a murderer go free. The only reason why Lexa hadn’t ordered Clarke as retribution for her warriors was simply because of the rules of engagement. No one likes to lose a battle, but that’s what it was. The Skaikru camp of the Drop Ship was fortified and its inhabitants were armed- with better weapons, one might add. Clarke and her allies had won that battle fair, despite the weapons advantage, due to their cleverness and usage of the environment. Her Grounders were trained warriors in melee and horseback combat, Clarke’s camp militia was composed of young novices, but heavily armed ones. This incident in the village on the other hand was a massacre, as it involved one party using weapons over a party without weapons, and that was dishonorable.  

            Almost as if she had sensed the Commander’s patience deteriorating, Clarke quickly proclaimed: “I can help you beat the Mountain Men.”

            All enamored amusement of Clarke’s supposed naivety dissipated, as this was an unexpected turn. The Commander placed her dagger casually in her lap, a sign which she hoped Clarke to interpret as a temporary retreatment of arms. “Go on…”

            “Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather,” Clarke continued breathlessly, anxious to interest the Commander before her patience ran out once more. “Kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine.”

            “How do you know this?”

            “Because I saw them. My people are prisoners there too. I was one of them.”

            “Lies,” interrupted Indra, this time using English, no doubt to unnerve the young Sky girl. “No one escapes the Mountain.”

            “I did,” Clarke retorted, regaining the collected composure she had entered the tent with. “With Anya.” This Clarke had purposefully directed to Lexa. The Commander studied Clarke’s face, as if attempting to detect known ticks in her profile to indicate lying. “We fought together.”

            “Another lie, Anya died in the fire. You killed her.” Indra continued. Lexa watched in silence for a moment. The heart of the Commander may have been known for its stoic and rigid behavior, but internally, the human inside Lexa was stirring. Her mentor had been missing since that fateful day of the Drop Ship battle, and the Commander had to swallow the guilt of sending her to her death.

            Clarke’s face scrunched as she looked away from the verbally bludgeoning Indra, and reached into her jacket pocket. Lexa felt no fear, but her heart jumped with the excitement of curiosity. She knew the girl wouldn’t be able to kill her, if she was planning on retrieving a weapon, there were too many guards around. Yet she was excited by the fact that just maybe this girl was dangerous, or maybe she had yet another tactic up her sleeve. Hesitantly, she removed a braid of hair from her jacket slowly, intimidated by the room preparing to unsheathe weapons. Lexa’s excitement died, as her mind returned to Anya, and something in her brain was telling her that the lock of hair did indeed belong to her mentor.

            “She told me you were her Second,” Clarke started, after licking her lips nervously. “I’m sure she’d want you to have this.” Continuing her streak of boldness, the Sky girl took gentle steps forward towards Lexa, tentatively watching the guards survey her. The Commander took the braid from Clarke’s hand gently, and felt the familiar hair underneath her fingertips. Her heart sank.

            “We don’t know it’s hers,” Indra offered in an attempt to quickly comfort her Commander.

            “Quiet, Indra,” Lexa warned, blinking instinctively as she continued looking at the braid, perhaps afraid that her eyes were going to start brimming with tears. She had to remain reserved in the presence of this Clarke kom Skaikru, it was obvious that she was going to use every card in her deck to throw her off the war path.

“Anya was my mentor,” Lexa began to inform, addressing Clarke, “before I was called to lead my people.” The Sky girl offered a delicate nod of understanding at this, as Lexa softly placed the braid aside. “Did she die well?” Lexa swallowed at this, keeping her throat from drying and cracking. She must not show emotion. She must remain unmovable.     

            “Yes, by my side,” Clarke answered eagerly, “trying to get a message to you.”

            Lexa resorted to aggression quickly to mask her emotion, and impatiently inquired: “What message?”

            “The only way to save both our people is if we join together,” Clarke played the card as fast as she could, sensing Indra already on the verge of rebuttal.

            “Those who are about to die will say anything,” Indra muttered, as if on cue.

            “I’m still waiting for an offer, Clarke,” Lexa stated cockily, using her regal prowess to gain Clarke’s full attention once more.   

            “The Mountain Men are turning your people into reapers. I can turn them back.”

Lexa could tell that this was the last card in Clarke’s hand. In fact, it may have been the only one she ever had, and just knew how to drag it out.

“Impossible!” Indra spat. Resorting back to Trigedasleng, she implored her Commander, “Commander, I beg you, let me kill her.”

“I’ve done it, with Lincoln,” Clarke attempted to convince, trying to raise her voice over Indra without stealing the authoritative power from the Commander that she was in the mercy of.

Indra began to seethe once more, as Lexa watched her begin to draw her weapon, “That traitor is the reason-”

“Indra…” Lexa warned, her eyes following Indra’s every move, yet her Lieutenant kept moving. “Enough!” The Commander stood from her throne, her projected voice freezing Indra on the spot, yet her menacing face did not change. Lexa could hear Clarke’s breathing shake. The girl was terrified, but was doing everything she could to stay collected and professional. Violently trembling in front of the Commander would not sell her offer with conviction at all. Indra took the liberty of walking to the other side of the tent without the order, and Lexa moved in closer to the Sky girl. Lexa had an overwhelming desire to clear the tension in the tent for the sake of Clarke, to give her some comfort, but knew every drop of it that filled the air was needed in order to keep control of the situation.

“You say you can turn reapers back into men?” she asked gently, everyone in the tent watching how she handled the young girl. Clarke’s eyes locked on hers, still struggling to control the fear in them, and nodded stiffly and affirmed the question. “Then prove it,” the Commander lightly growled, “Show me Lincoln.” The Sky girl was silent, and Lexa knew that she had done what was needed to call the girl out on her bold statement. If this girl could not play by the rules of combat, then Lexa would maintain her people’s honor by beating Clarke at her own game of witty words and tempting claims. Lexa accepted Clarke’s plea for her audience, thinking they were going to discuss the village murderer, but this Sky girl was only trying to stall her, and Lexa knew this. But she would let Clarke play her game; she would let Clarke entertain her, just to witness this woman’s beauty before seizing justice. What harm would it cause?    

           

**Clarke Griffin, Inmate of the Ark’s 100**

            Clarke Griffin felt her heart beat sickly as she traversed through the familiar woods to the scorched graveyard of the Drop Ship. The tension of the journey was so dense, Clarke wanted to scream in hopes of shattering the pressure it placed against her mind. This was a make or break moment. Secure this, and she could be one step closer to saving Finn. The Grounder party followed behind her, and the anxiety shaking her spirits kept urging her to steal reassuring glances back towards the one person that needed to be impressed: the Grounder leader Heda Lexa. But the glances the older woman returned did nothing to still her heartbeat. Clarke decided to keep her vision on the drop ship in front of her, praying to any existing higher being that her mother had succeeding in reviving Lincoln.

            She tried to not focus on the charred corpses around them, knowing awfully well that this could only make things worse. Sure, in some respects it showed the power of her people, but she did not want to irritate the Grounders. Intimidation would not ensure the peace she was seeking, it would only make things worse. Clarke also knew that looking back at this moment would be risky, as eye-contact with their leader might cause the guards to flinch, or even- dare Clarke entertain the thought? Reveal fear in all of them including their almighty Heda? They had to be looking at the dead, they had to be.

            Clarke came to a stop right before the flaps of the drop ship, and sensed the stillness behind her. Turning around, she saw the Grounders spread out besides their commander, who meet Clarke’s gaze as stoic as ever. Either she hadn’t been moved by the sight of her dead warriors, or she had one hell of a poker face. She needed to establish a connection with this woman, but the longer Clarke surveyed her face, the more it seemed to slowly evolve into … hate? Clarke couldn’t tell, but she knew it wasn’t good.

            Swallowing hard, she gestured with her head towards the entrance. “This way,” she addressed, trying to only focus on their Commander. Clarke knew it was important to pay attention to the powerful woman most, as she was the one who would be the savior of her people, not herself. Negotiating is one thing, but the threat- these numerous, restless, and vengeful Grounders- their Heda held the final say, and Clarke was grateful that she had given her this chance to stall.

            As they made their way inside, Clarke began to climb the hatch up to the higher level of the drop ship, and her heart stopped when she heard the sound of dreadful sobbing. Her body kept moving, pushing her up the stairs, but she knew with each passing millisecond that the worst had happened.

            Octavia was weeping, kneeling by Lincoln’s body, which was chained and strapped down like a beast. Clarke couldn’t feel her own heart. Perhaps the anxiety had finally caught up with her and finally killed her. Her mind was instinctually trying to fabricate another plan to stall Lexa’s wrath. She searched immediately for the eyes of her mother, which failed to offer the comfort she once found as a child when things went wrong, and read the message of dread failure stamped across Abby’s face.

            The Commander made her way up next, swiftly assessing the area, and it only took one second to look at Lincoln’s unconscious body, restrained in the degrading animalistic manner, for Lexa’s expression to shift, making eye contact with Clarke immediately. Finally, a glimpse at this leader’s true emotion… but under the wrong circumstances. She wanted to see Lexa’s jaw drop as she witnessed her mother’s medical talents, not to see the eyes of her killer. Clarke couldn’t look away as their eyes locked. Lexa had to have read the spiking fear in her eyes, undoubtedly. God, Clarke was about to throw herself down on her knees and beg for mercy if she had to, but that was not the way of these people, pleading would go nowhere. Bellamy and Abby were already thinking of the violent alternative the Grounders were going to act on at any second, eyeing weapons in their arm’s reach. Looking back up at Lexa, she felt as if Lexa had read her mind. As if they could communicate telepathically. She knew Clarke was waiting for her people to reach for weapons, so without wasting another second, the Commander turned and nodded to her own party.

            Relishing in the permission to finally kill, Indra unsheathed her sword. “I’ll kill them all,” she muttered. Unanimously everyone in the room who could reach a weapon had drawn. Clarke’s heart was beating so rapidly she felt she would experience cardiac arrest before a Grounder’s blade ripped into her flesh. Her mother stood in front of her, as if fueled by maternal instinct, willing to fight not for her own life, but for Clarke. Touched in a different way, Clarke fed off of her mother’s boldness, and stood still, not breaking her eye contact with Lexa, who just couldn’t seem to look away either.

            “Please, you don’t have to do this,” Clarke pleaded, hoping that this window of human connection was enough to subdue Lexa. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt like a connection had finally been made between them. Perhaps she sensed that Lexa had faith in her proposal, but now it had died with Lincoln.

            “You lied,” Lexa replied, “and you’re out of time.” Her suspicions were confirmed: Lexa had only come down here because of hope, and this aggression she was going to face now would be the product of that. Clarke had never felt so desperate in her entire life. Not since she saw her father get floated. Her eyes brimmed with tears, and Clarke was ready to beg. _Throw yourself at her feet. Save your people. Do something._

            Abby on the other hand had one last trick up her sleeve, as if a light-bulb went off in her mind, and she jabbed her electrified baton against Lincoln’s chest. Great minds thinking alike, like mother like daughter, Clarke jolted with hope as powerfully as Lincoln’s limp body had jumped up with the power of the pulse.

            “Hit him again,” Clarke said eagerly, understanding the defibrillator method her mother was going for. The idea tranquilized her fear and replaced her mind with attentive hope. She could see Lexa in the corner of her mind, lost in what was happening. This is what she wanted. She wanted Lexa and the Grounders to see her people as valuable and just as powerful. Abby pressed the baton once more, sending Lincoln into a brief convulsion again, and back to life.

            The room was full of the breaths of disbelief. The Grounders were at a loss for words, probably trying to comprehend this act as some sort of necromancy. Clarke’s heart began to beat triumphantly, but reminded herself to stay culturally competent of the Grounders. Besides, these are the people who survived a nuclear world. Their knowledge and skills were just as valuable as what her Sky People had to offer, if not more. Clarke met the gaze of Indra, and all the other warriors, proud of proving herself, and proud of saving her people. And then she met Lexa’s. The Commander had regained her composure, and was once again seeking this odd connection that was forming between them. Clarke still felt the tears in her eyes, but kept her chin up. She had won, and if she was going to be in the game of diplomats with these Grounders, she had to control her emotions just like them. Lexa’s eye contact radiated a different message this time.

            Nobly accepting defeat, the Commander replaced her sword in her sheathe, yet didn’t say a word. There was something about her that Clarke couldn’t pinpoint, but she felt her gazes were an obvious message of something more besides sizing up an opponent. Whatever it was, Clarke felt like it was something she should be happy to receive. This Commander seemed to be the type of leader who was always disciplined in giving out orders and following protocols, but when it came to actual human communication, she was mute. Maybe that was the distinction between the persona of Heda and the actual human Lexa. If her intuition was right, Clarke now had a hint on how to appeal to the mysterious Commander: intrigue Lexa, and you’ll influence the Commander.

 

**Heda Lexa, Commander of the Twelve Clans**

                “Lincoln’s recovery was… impressive,” Lexa confessed, standing by her war table as Clarke stood cautiously opposite her. The Commander felt that there was no harm in winding down just for a bit in front of the young Sky girl. Perhaps she had intimidated the girl a little too much earlier. A part of her heart faltered at the sight of Clarke on the verge of tears, and found herself wanting to soothe her. Wanting didn’t translate into her actual actions, though. Clarke remained silent, still guarded, so Lexa continued speaking.

            “No one’s ever survived such a fate before,” she said with a laugh. She wanted the girl to warm up, to feel safe- to feel protected by her. But not even the Commander could let herself drop her guard completely. As she attempted to lure the Sky girl into being comfortable, she still found herself instinctually reaching for the pommel of her sword, no doubt an attempt to subconsciously still feel in power. However, her warm tone didn’t go unnoticed, as Clarke finally spoke up.

            “It’s not complicated really,” she said. Her voice was soft, unlike the projection she used when they first met in the tent. It was not used to try to impress anyone on behalf of her people anymore, it was simply benevolent and it sent pleasurable shivers down the Commander’s spine. “We just have to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system. I know we can do the same for others.”

            Pausing at this, the Commander realized that it wasn’t benevolence speaking, it was expertise. Lexa’s smile dropped and her façade returned. This was Clarke playing another round of cards, and she had a confident hand. Lexa understood now- medicine must be Clarke’s field, and her practiced knowledge of the science was far superior than the Commander’s, and this gave Clarke the upper hand. Lexa didn’t know what to make of it as she had never been in a position where someone had something more than her. She let her guard down to comfort a pretty girl, who had snatched it right up for herself the second she could. But it ended up enticing her. What was it about this girl that Lexa just couldn’t help but have her get away with things no one else would?

            “You may have your truce,” Lexa offered, not even having to struggle with making her tone warm, despite the memories of her training warning her of being too soft. Clarke’s face lightened with relief, as she attempted a nod, but the Commander could see that she was holding in her overwhelmed emotion.

“Thank you,” Clarke said thankfully.

Underneath her Commander’s persona, the sight of Clarke’s gratefulness had brought Lexa delight. But her people came first, and indulging in this girl’s presence shouldn’t waste time anymore. It was time to get back to the main reason of all this conflict. She had given enough attention to Clarke for her own amusement, and had elongated justice enough.

“I only need one thing in return,” Lexa began.

“Tell me,” Clarke offered eagerly, willing to return any action to make up for the Commander’s patience in her.

“Deliver me the one you call Finn. Our truce begins with his death.”  

 

 


	2. 2x08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to make some "original" scenes for this chapter. Apparently a full descriptive verbatim of chapter scenes is not a popular idea. Here is 2x08, which gives insight on Lexa receiving Finn, and how she attempts to comfort Clarke after his death.
> 
> Let me know what it is that you guys are looking for. It's also shorter lol I may have made my first chapter undesirably too long.

**Heda Lexa, Commander of the Twelve Clans**

            To be honest, Lexa hadn’t anticipated for Finn Collins, the murderer of her people, to surrender himself. People close to him did all they could to hide him from justice, yet here he was, finally doing something responsible. Lexa observed from her throne as the boy was forced to kneel before her, hands bound like the criminal he was. She could hear her warriors outside in the camp ground, chanting and taunting the Sky People across the field, preparing the execution post.

            “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Lexa inquired, curious to understand his motives.

            “I’m sorry,” he muttered, keeping his eyes on the ground. “I don’t know what came over me. I was afraid I lost her. I was afraid that I failed to protect her.”

            Lexa raised an eyebrow and leaned forward from her throne. “Who?”

            Finn looked up at his captor, eyes full of regret, and coyly answered, “Clarke.”

            Lexa leaned back in her throne, letting the weight of this response sink in. So the most infamous lesson of her Commander’s training was the culprit motive: love. The Commander gritted her teeth, remembering how that lesson, which preached that love was weakness, left a permanent impression on her.

            “Love is weakness,” Lexa began, repeating the same mantra that was traumatized into her own soul. “You will die this night because of how love corrupted you, do you understand that? You murdered my people because your love made you feel powerless, and it drove you to the insane idea of becoming violent to get what you wanted.”

            Finn gritted his teeth and looked away. No doubt he didn’t agree with her.

            “I was in love once,” Lexa continued, “If it’s any condolence, I know personally how love is the greatest mirage of all time. It enhances certain feelings in you, and numbs the rest. It can cause you to make the wrong decisions- selfish decisions- that you will always end up paying for. I had a lover who I always had by my side, and always cherished her council when it came to the efficacy of my leadership. Being in love with her made me feel powerful, and not weak. However she was taken away from me by one of my enemies, and killed just for being someone close to me. I learned how this situation made my reign vulnerable, and now I will never take a lover if it means keeping one more person alive.”

            Finn swayed weakly on the floor, listening, but because he knew his life would never be able to sense anything else in less than an hour.

            “Clarke’s a beautiful woman,” Lexa continued, filling the silence. “She’s brave, and her resiliency is admirable, but…” Lexa stopped and asked herself where exactly she was taking this conversation. This talk was simply to be one of the lasts criminals would hear, in the confidence of the Heda, in order to leave this world with some kind words and a clear conscious, but here she was, trailing on about Finn’s lover and not his crime. “You will be executed within the hour,” she said, recovering from her tangent. “May your soul rest knowing that Clarke will survive thanks to your sacrifice. You got your heart’s desire: to protect her.”

In that instant, Lexa began to realize that the sounds from outside had diminished. Something was not right. With that, Lexa stood up from her throne and swiftly lifted the flap to the tent, hearing a familiar voice.

“Let me through,” it said. Lexa’s heart perked as her mind immediately pinpointed the voice as Clarke kom Skaikru.

“Let her pass,” Lexa ordered, presenting herself as un-phased by the scene forming by her tent. She wasn’t trying to project her voice but she knew that her words had reached the anxious Skaikru observing across the field. At least now all of Skaikru would see her power and flexibility, not just an ambassador in the shape of Clarke.

Indra jerked her spear away from the slow impaling she was work on with Clarke’s abdomen, letting Clarke make her way towards Heda. Clarke did her best to ignore the blood slowly sponging in her shirt as she stood face to face with Lexa.

“You bleed for nothing,” Lexa said, almost sympathetically. “You cannot stop this.”

“No,” Clarke whispered. She only wanted Lexa to hear her words. “Only you can.”

This shook Lexa unexpectedly. Once again, Clarke was playing cards. Lexa wanted to approach Clarke with sympathies while Clarke still didn’t know when to fold. It was obvious to Lexa that this was a tactic meant to flatter her; that Clarke was attempting to acknowledge her power, but only to manipulate for her own agenda. Her mind raced with the thoughts that Clarke did not truly respect her status, but another voice in her mind tried to tell her that this was just desperation. That maybe this Sky girl was actually just surrendering, and begging to witness the Commander’s capabilities.

The Grounder camp slowly began to express an uproar and Finn had been lead out into the open. Lexa saw him watch Clarke for his entire walk.

“Show my people how powerful you are,” Clarke continued, “Show them you can be merciful. Show them you’re not a savage.”

Lexa was torn. All any leader should desire should be the safety of their people and the display of their power, but how could mercy be power? The Skaikru wouldn’t see an act of mercy as power, they would all just start to believe that she would let them get away with anything. She had to make an example of Finn. As for being a savage? How could the Sky People even consider her own as savages when the Sky People were the ones lacking any sense of organized civilization? They couldn’t decide on their leaders, they only had one main healer, no farmers, no military, no education. Just a rubble camp full of people willing to take and not give. As much as she wanted to accommodate and put Clarke out of her misery, she knew this had to be done.

“We are what we are,” Lexa growled lowly. Nothing could make the Skaikru see her people as anything but savages because they couldn’t even acknowledge their own savage behavior.

“Then I’m the killer,” Clarke tried desperately, trying not watch Finn being tied to the post. “I burned three hundred of your people. I slit a man’s throat and watched him die. I’m soaked in Grounder blood. Take me.”

“But Finn is guilty,” Lexa found herself explaining, gently.

“No, he did it for me,” Clarke trembled. Lexa already knew about Finn’s motive, and she was glad that the killer was telling the truth, but it did not change her judgment. “He did it for me,” Clarkes voice began to crack and her eyes began to tear.

“Then he dies for you,” Lexa clarified, hoping Clarke would just accept the consequences of Finn’s actions, and somehow trick herself into believing he was going to die some hero’s death. Clarke went silent, as if she really was coming to terms with the Commander’s words, and Lexa watched. She watched the thoughts running behind those sapphire blue eyes, as the irises began to be consumed by dilating pupils. Clarke just simply looked at Lexa, still clinging to some thread of hope.

“Can I say goodbye?”

Lexa wanted nothing more than to give Clarke what she wanted, and this request was harmless. It still allowed her to give her people justice while gifting Clarke with something Lexa herself never got to have: the closure of saying goodbye to a loved one. She gave a nod of approval, and watched Clarke make her way to Finn.

Lexa was sick with herself. This girl clearly loved her prisoner, and here she was, watching Clarke desperately leave one last kiss on his lips, and imagining what Clarke’s would feel on hers. She couldn’t even have the decency to let the girl mourn before giving into the simplest of carnal thoughts. All she could think of was how she was going to hopefully see Clarke more and more after this to build their truce, while the person of her desires was being shattered to pieces at having to witness her lover about to be tortured to death. Even watching Clarke press herself against Finn in the weakest hug she had ever witnessed, her mind slipped a comment about how lucky he was to have earned such a beauty as Clarke, and how much his actions were such a waste- in fact, nothing seemed more like a waste than having such a lover and then losing them to your stupidity-

Lexa’s mind came to a halt, and she was sure the thousands of witnesses tonight had froze as well. Finn’s head had dropped to rest on Clarke’s shoulder. Being a skilled warrior, Lexa knew the movements of death. Her warriors rustled, recognizing the presence of death as well. Clarke had killed him. She had stole justice from her people, Lexa knew this was how it was going to be seen. As Clarke turned around, the shiv shined brightly in the moonlight, held loosely in her bloody hand. Lexa’s senses tingled as she sensed the violent uproar to come, and turned around in time to halt Indra from sending her spear through Clarke’s already broken body.

“It is done!” Lexa defended loudly. Her arm extended to keep her warriors at bay, and she kept her eyes on Clarke, stunned, and looked into the girl’s eyes as a cry traveled across the field from the Skaikru’s camp. Clarke’s spirit seemed to break even more as she heard it, repeated over and over across the air.

Lexa couldn’t take it anymore. She made her way towards Clarke, and fought the urge to touch the girl’s shoulders. “Clarke,” she whispered, but Clarke was far off. Her body stood still like an empty shell on the field, her soul undoubtedly taking Finn’s to the Other Side. “Clarke!” Lexa repeated, raising her voice just to bring the girl back.

Clarke blinked and exhaled deeply as she turned to face the Commander.

“It is done,” Lexa repeated to words to the Sky girl, who nodded , intoxicated with grief. “Come, you brought your people peace, and mine justice.” Lexa would use the excuse that she had to comfort her newfound ally if anyone questioned her attempts to soothe the Sky Girl. She reached down for Clarke’s bloody hand and removed the shiv cautiously. It was more than clear that Clarke wasn’t a killer, despite the number of lives on her record, and holding onto the weapon she used to kill Finn would do nothing for her recovery. “You may have the privacy of my tent,” Lexa offered, “Wash up, and take the time that you need to collect your thoughts. No one will disturb you, you have my word.”

Clarke held onto Lexa’s arm instinctively and let the Commander lead the way. She heard the Heda’s words, but her mind was still lost in time, hearing Finn’s breath stop, feeling his warm blood rush over her hand as she pressed the shiv deeper into under his heart, being surrounded by the ethereal feeling of a soul passing through her.

“You have your truce,” Clarke could hear Lexa whispering, keeping her voice low only for her to hear “It’s over. We will take care of each other here on out. You did the right thing…”

Lexa brought Clarke to a bench inside her tent, covered in pelts- the most comfortable one Lexa had for the journey. She looked down at the girl and was overwhelmed with pity. It was a blessing no one had followed them inside, everyone must have known to have the decency to let the Commander speak with Clarke alone. The tears were unstoppable as they began to slip from Clarke’s eyes and slide down her pale cheeks. She avoided looking at Lexa’s face as her breath began to tremble into the sound of small hiccups, a telltale sign of a dreadful heavy weeping.

Considerately, Lexa reached inside one of her trunks and pulled out a small piece of fabric, and handed it to Clarke.

“Here, use this if you need to cry. I am sorry, Clarke, but now you shouldn’t have to worry about my people any longer.”

Clarke weakly pulled the makeshift handkerchief out of Lexa’s hands, as if she wanted to avoid physical contact as much as possible. A croak escaped her throat, which Lexa chose to interpret as a “thank you”, and took a step back.

“I…” Lexa started, feeling tremendously sorry, but choosing to regain her Commander’s behavior. “I will give you privacy. You have one hour. We will send riders for your mother- for the leader of your people, Clarke kom Skaikru.” With that, Lexa turned around awkwardly, and left.    

      


End file.
